Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Part Eight Of In The Search of Elves

Here's another piece of In The Search of Elves. Sorry for the wait! Here's the last part I posted... Tell me what you think!!!


Sticking to the shadows, the two figures, Grandfather and Granddaughter, raced through the dark. Sliding up against the wooden shacks and crawling through the bushes. Often a Inarian guard would walk right by their hiding place, but never were they spotted.

They needed to get to the river, once they got across it there would be nothing but wilderness. Elsa and Grandfather ran on, unseen by the Inarians or Crelis. Then, at last, they got to the river.

It lay ahead of them, shimmering in the moonlight. The thick black forest stood beyond it.

"How do we get across?" asked Elsa "Do we have to swim?"

"Nay, Child, there's a raft. Follow me. But be quiet!"

The stepped quietly along the riverbank, slipping through the reeds and rushes. There was an old wooden dock, with a raft tied on it. Elsa stepped on, followed by Grandfather. They unhitched it and found the pole to steer it with. The river was much wider then it looked, and the water was cold and deep.

Slowly they steered across, but then, they hit the currant. It began pulling them quickly downstream, the opposite of where they wanted to go.

"Oh no!" breathed Elsa.

They fought back, but it did no good. The small raft raced downstream, toward the heart of the Inarian city. They struggled trying to get out of the horrid pull, for if they went into the city they were sure to be spotted. The current pulled them closer and closer to the city, then it brought them into a little bay.

"This isn't good.." whispered Elsa looking at the mobs of partying Inarnians and Crelis, lined along the bay.

"Shhh!" said Grandfather looking at the river bank.

But it was too late. They had been spotted.

There was no use pretending to be Inarian. The Inarians were light and blond while the Medians had dark hair and tannish skin. And the Inarians had a very strong Inarian accent, one that would be impossible to mimic.

"Going for a boat ride are we?" said an Inarian guard.

Elsa and Grandfather said nothing.

"Why are you two out of the slave village? Trying to escape?"

Still Elsa and Grandfather did not answer. What could they do or say?

The guard motioned to his fellow soldiers and a handful of Crelis.

"Take care of em'. You know what to do."

Ferocious cries came from the Inarians and Crelis as they raced into the water. Heading right toward Elsa and Grandfather on the little raft. Elsa screamed, for it seemed there was little they could do.

5 comments:

Emily Froula said...

Ooooh, it's getting so exciting!!!!!!!! Both stories are, post more of both of them soon!

Anonymous said...

Will do! Thanks, Emily!!!

helene said...

Omigosh, so suspenseful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaahhh!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

!!!

Wow, fantastic!!! I want to know what happens!! Post more?? :)

I love it. I really like your descriptions and how you make everything seem so real and in the moment, it you know what I mean!! My one piece of advice would be to beware of paragraphs like this:

Sticking to the shadows, the two figures, Grandfather and Granddaughter, raced through the dark. Sliding up against the wooden shacks and crawling through the bushes.

This is a wonderful description, but these two sentences would work better if you made them into one sentence, separated by a comma.

Otherwise, everything is amazing! And, like MC said, SUSPENSEFUL!! O.o

POST MOER!!!11

love,
anna

Anonymous said...

Thanks everyone! Anna, I know totally what you mean! My Mother is always saying that to me. Hehehe! I'll work more with commas from now on ;)

More to come today or tomorrow!